While many couples dream of a romantic holiday together the first trip you take could be a deal breaker in the most dramatic way possible. The New York Times in May 2024 reported on a report from Dating.com that half of all couples shockingly break up after their first vacation together.
“A couple’s first trip together is a major relationship milestone, whether it happens in your first six months of dating or on your honeymoon,” Maria Sullivan, vice president and dating expert of Dating.com, said in a statement. “Spending several hours with someone isn’t the same as spending several days with them, and even spending weekends together isn’t the same as spending several weeks together.”
No matter how long you’ve been dating or how often you’re together, you’re more than likely to discover something new and possibly challenging about your partner’s habits.
And, there are some quite alarming stats around the reasons why people break up:
For example 31% of couples have ended their relationships after consistently being woken up too early during a getaway.
Whilst 38% of people admitted they decided to break up after their partner repeatedly made them late for dinner reservations.
How your partner treats others can also be very illuminating for example seeing their partner snap at a flight attendant, tour guide or waiter has caused 31% of those surveyed to break off a relationship.
So how can we prepare better for our first trip away with our partner:
Here are some thoughts:
Its Probably Not Going To Be Like Mama Mia
Perhaps the first thing we can think about is managing expectation.
If we are viewing this holiday not as some kind of Mama Mia picturesque – ecstatically rolling around on the beach together – as actually the challenge of being in a relationship with someone 24/7 that’s a good start. Recognizing that it is going to be fun but it is also going demanding and quite intense at times sets your expectations at a realistic level.
Find Your Own Space
There isn’t going to be your own home to return to when you are feeling a bit closed in so you might need to put some boundaries in place for yourself.
Request some time each day just to have a bit of space to yourself to read or have a coffee on your own – just to re-group.
Keep In Contact
Stay in contact with your friends during the holiday so you have some outside strength to draw upon. Being with one person can be lonely and this is especially true if you are not having a very good day. Message or facetime and tell them what’s going on. Out of town doesn’t have to be out of mind.
Prepare Well In Advance
So there are not too many conflicts during the trip about what you are going to do, discuss this before you set off.
Do the compromises/negotiations/arguing then rather than at the beach or beside the pool in front of other holiday makers peaking at you from behind their paperbacks.
Finally be optimistic if the survey says that half couples split up after their first holiday together well, half don’t! You might even come back closer than before and with a stronger sense of togetherness.
For more information about relationships and how to create closeness look at our website www.takeactioncounselling.co.uk
(Source: Half of all couples break up after their first trip together — these are the shocking reasons why New York Times May 30, 2024)