If we have experienced a negative sexual experience either recently or in the past, we can feel very confused about how we feel about our bodies – possibly loosing contact with that part of ourselves altogether. Or even experience a strong dislike towards our bodies and physical selves. For sexual violence survivors, there can be a strong tendency to separate our bodies from minds, which can give a sense of isolating our body even from ourselves.
This can also be true of those of us that struggle with our body image – especially in the light of heavy pressure from social media to look perfect – even though that much of that perfection is touched up and unreal.
We may need to start working towards embracing our body even in a small way. For example “Some Survivors learn to reconnect with “lost” body parts by having imaginary conversations with their anatomy. Strange though it may sound giving your…body parts a voice can help you discover how you feel about them” (Source: The Sexual Healing Journey Wendy Maltz p131). Start with some part of you that is non sexual first. For example, here is an extract from a journal of a Woman Survivor Megan who has started on her journey to reconnecting with her body and even appreciating it and looking at that part with kindness and compassion:
“I’ve been in yoga lately and I have started kind of talking to my body (so weird). Does it make sense that, every time I connect with my body, I weep? Like, I’m getting reacquainted with it? Last week, in yoga, I did a great job on the “tree pose”. After holding the balance, I looked down at my right thigh, gave it a love pat and said, “Good job, leg.” Right there in yoga (I’m sure it didn’t help that there was a soft rendition of that song from “Beaches” playing in the background). I think I am the only person who has been kind to this body that has been through so so much. I’m showing compassion for my body for the first time.” (Source: Megan : www.tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/10/how-trauma-survivors-reconnect-with-body-stop-dissociating)
Maybe we need to learn to slowly walk towards enjoying the body we have – after all it is the only one we are going to get.