It can be helpful when assessing our relationships to understand what is a healthy relationship and what might not be – one classic example of a relationship that may not be healthy is a co-dependent relationship – take a look and see if you can see if any of these might apply to you.
Co-dependency in a relationship is when each person involved is mentally, emotionally, physically, and/or spiritually reliant on the other. A co-dependent relationship can exist between romantic partners, but also with family members and friends. Co-dependency is not a clinical diagnosis or formally categorized personality disorder on its own. It incorporates aspects of attachment style patterns developed in early childhood. Co-dependency can also overlap with other personality disorders, including dependent personality disorder.
The Co-Dependent is driven by one or more compulsions.
The Co-Dependent is often tormented by the way things were in the dysfunctional family of origin.
The Co-Dependent’s self esteem (and sometimes maturity) is very low.
The Co-Dependent is certain his or her or their happiness hinges on others.
Conversely the co-dependent feels inordinately responsible for others.
The Co-Dependent’s relationship with a significant other person is marred by damaging unstable lack of balance between dependence and independence.
The Co-Dependent is a master of denial and repression.
The Co-Dependent worries about things he or she can’t change and may well try to change them.
A Co-Dependent’s life is punctuated by extremes
A Co-Dependent is constantly looking for something that is missing in life.
(Source “Love Is A Choice” by Hemfelt, Minirth, Meier – Monarch Publications – Published 1990 page 28)