One way that you can tackle triggers during sex if you have experienced a very negative or abusive sexual experience is to use the SCAC approach by Wendy Maltz. This can help you feel safer in the moment:
Stop – Become Aware
Calm – Yourself
Affirm – Your Present Reality
Choose – A New Response
Stop And Become Aware
As you soon as you find yourself reacting in a sudden upsetting and irrational way that feels out of control STOP. Acknowledge what is happening. Assume you have hit a trigger. Try to determine what triggered this reaction. Take this trigger seriously even though it may seem inconsequential. See if you can make the connection between the trigger and something to do with your past abusive situation.
Calm Yourself
Try and tune into what your body is saying. Are you feeling close to panic? Is your heartbeat going really fast? You may be responding to something physically that go beyond the realities of the current situation. Try and focus on your breathing – try and slow your breathing so you breath in for four counts and out for six counts and repeat this five times if possible. Try and untense your muscles. Also try and talk to yourself in a calming and caring way – assuring yourself that you are not in that past situation.
Affirm Your Present Reality
Try and remind yourself what is happening now IS DIFFERENT from the abuse. See where you are and who you are actually with. Remind yourself how old you are now. Try and remind yourself of the difference between sexual violation and healthy sexuality. Affirm your rights. You have the right to a positive healthy sexuality and your body belongs to you.
Choose A New Response To The Trigger:
Once you feel calmer and have affirmed yourself of your present reality you have now some options to remove yourself, alter the trigger, approach the trigger slowly or if you feel you have enough emotional resilience you can choose to accept the trigger. Don’t force yourself though stay in control.
Having an understanding partner that you trust as you tackle triggers can be key to recovery.
(Source The Sexual Healing Journey Wendy Maltz pages 156- 163 Published by William Morrow)